


*Not* Funny

by orphan_account



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (is that what you call it?), Draco's overdramtic, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Harry's also got some overdrama, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, No regrets though, OOC ferret, Oneshot, Prankster Harry Potter, but it's hereditary, everyone should too, harry loves a pouting draco, he also hates immaterial objects, if that's what you call, it's funny but Draco denies it, kinda domestic, like always, the pouting gets the story off course
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26549965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Screams worse than Pansy Parkinson's, a stinky animal and a lot of pouting. Yeah...that's basically what happens.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 25





	*Not* Funny

Waking up with a ferret staring down at oneself, perched at one’s belly instead of a certain Harry Potter is, let Draco Malfoy’s ear splitting scream tell you,  _ not _ funny.    


From downstairs, he heard Harry ‘I’m hilarious’ Potter laugh.

* * *

Harry has been waiting for  _ so  _ long. Draco always woke up at around twelve o’clock during the weekends and Harry had been getting restless. Once or twice, he had considered waking Draco up himself but, as Ron said, it would not be that funny. 

The ferret was curled up on the blond’s stomach, asleep. It was a harmless spell, really. George had invented it specially for this. They had just spelled it to wake up at the same time Draco did. Ron, George, and Ginny would have been here too but when Harry had mentioned the part about Draco sleeping naked, they backed out immediately. But, as the amazing friends they were, the teasing since had been non-stop.

Harry leaned against the door, waiting for him to wake up but the git was out like a light. There was a loud knock downstairs. Harry glanced at the clock. The  _ Quibbler _ ’s owl. Harry would just quickly run downstairs and get it back up. 

Unfortunately, it took a while. In his hurry, he accidentally slipped on the staircase. Then he tripped over a bloody  _ shoe  _ Draco had left lying around. Then - it was the last tragedy but the most painful of all - he stubbed his toe. Bloody fucking immaterial objects, going around causing more torment than human beings. During all of this, it didn’t seem like Draco had gotten up so Harry quickly got the magazine and made his way to the stairs.

Just as he stepped on the first stair, he heard a scream. So fucking high, Harry would’ve mistaken it as Parkinson’s. 

A tiny bubble of laughter made its way out and then it didn’t stop. Harry grabbed the balustrade for support, laughing his head off. He was unable to make any sound and his eyes were watering and  _ god _ , his stomach hurt. Somehow, during all this, he managed to climb the stairs.

When his eyes met Draco’s he again dissolved into laughter. Draco’s affronted “Potter!” didn’t help. He caught sight of the confused ferret running around the room and that also didn’t help. 

After what felt like hours of blank and confused and fake-outraged faces - amusing Harry to no end - Harry finally stopped. His mouth hurt from all the grinning but he couldn’t stop. He wiped his eyes and said, “I’m - like, that - you just…” He waved his hands illustratively. 

Draco crossed his arms across his chest and scowled - which looked more like he was trying to hide a smile. “That’s not funny, Potter.”

“Oh come on,” Harry insisted as he picked up the ferret, “it was  _ really  _ funny.”

“No.You know it was the most traumatic experience, being turned into a stinky ferret and  _ stuffed down Vince’s pants _ ,” Draco added with a sniff.

Harry rolled his eyes in response and put the ferret down on the bed between them, eliciting a yelp from Draco. “Put that stinky thing away.” he demanded and drew the covers around him protectively.

“No, I won’t.” Harry grinned. “You have to learn to get over a  _ traumatic experience _ and this is me helping you.” Harry nodded knowingly and pushed the ferret forward. 

Draco immediately got off the bed, pulling the sheets with him and glared at Harry from his end. Harry shrugged. “He's just a ferret, Draco. Think of him as…” Harry smirked, “family.”

Draco glanced over his shoulder once and Harry was pretty sure he was suppressing a smile. Then he turned back to look at Harry with a fake-offended look. “I hate you.”

“No you don’t. You  _ love _ me, as I remember you saying last night. Also - ”

“Yeah, but I hate you right now.” Harry ignored him.

“- you find this hilarious and - ”

“I do  _ not. _ ” Harry ignored that too.

“- you’re pouting.”

Draco opened his mouth, looking seriously offended. “I do  _ not _ pout.”

Harry gave a cursory glance at the spot where the ferret had been.  _ Had been _ . A ferret was running amok around their home. Today was a fantastic day. Draco followed his gaze and narrowed his eyes. “Great. Now we have a ferret loose in here.”

“Back to the point, you  _ do _ pout,” Harry said.

“I do  _ not _ .”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I do not. That is not like me,” Draco insisted.

“Well, I think it’s time you met yourself, then,” Harry suggested.

Draco pouted and said, “I have never, in my whole life - ”

“You’re pouting again,” Harry pointed out.

Draco huffed. “No.”

“Oh come one.” Harry rose up and walked with bent knees across the bed towards Draco. He cupped a confused Draco’s face and squeezed it so it looked like a pout in a very broad definition. “See?” He looked up to meet Draco’s eyes. “You pout.”

“Daths not a fhout.” 

“Yes it is. Actually, I - ”

“Why aav you like dhis?”

“ - like it very much. Can you stop interrupting me?”

“No. Aasho, therjh a pherret in duh houshe.”

“Yeah…I just have... other things in mind, though.” Harry glanced down at Draco’s lips.

“Yeah?” Draco grinned which looked kind of weird as Harry still had his face squeezed but looked cute nonetheless. But if Harry said that, he was sure Draco would actually be offended. 

Harry grinned back and leaned forward to kiss Draco and do… other things.

Downstairs, the ferret tried to jump off the table top.


End file.
